Ouch! My Brain Hurts (and my heart).

Recently, I had one of those days when you feel like nothing can go right. My emotions were right there on the brink of overflowing. There are several points throughout the day that I want to share what I was thinking and feeling.

At one point, I was in a meeting where there was discussion about some bullying a student had endured. I started tearing up when I was expressing my thought about the situation. Unfortunately, as I thought about it later, I was kind of embarrassed. I know I shouldn't be, but it is something that people see has weak. I was certainly not being weak. I am just a very passionate person. I feel things very deeply so crying comes pretty easy when I'm emotional. Any emotion - sad, mad, happy, frustrated, or whatever. To quote one of my favorite movies, "Laughter through tears is one of my favorite emotions." You get a gold star if you know who said that in what movie. So anyway, I was feeling a bit silly that people saw me get all emotional. I really wish we could get to a place that being emotional or passionate isn't seen as weak. It's very curious to me because it doesn't initially feel like I'm being weak. Then, I think about it and start to feel that way. It's a societal label. I don't like it. Just sayin', and I'll say it again; I do NOT like it. We should be able to show what we are feeling in our heart without feeling "less" for it. Now, this brings me to another point. What I really need to do, is not let myself feel that way. I do it to myself. I do. I know I do.

As I reflect back on that difficult day, as so many have been lately, I realize I have total control over my experience of those days. Easier said than done. Or is it? All I have to do is change my thought because you know, "Thoughts Become Things"!!! They do. I know that, and I believe that. If I think it, it becomes real to me in my mind. If I don't think it, it isn't there; i.e. the weakness feeling. I'm going to focus on taking back control and not handing over that power to others. I know that will help me "keep calm and carry on."