Grandpap and the Joy of Whistling

It is one of my favorite sounds; someone whistling. It brings such joy to my heart because it reminds me of my grandpap and now of my Daddy. My husband told me once that my Dad was the only person he knew that could harmonize with himself when he whistled. It seems impossible, but honestly, when you hear him whistle, it does sound like he is harmonizing. It's a beautiful sound. I'm sure he learned that from his Dad.

From as far back as I can remember, my Grandpap Rips whistled. We always heard him before we saw him. It was a good feeling to hear that whistle and jump up and run to greet him at the kitchen door.

He was a gentle man that had a silent strength about him. Whistling suited his personality perfectly. It feels kind and light hearted and calm and peaceful, like the kind of man he was and like my Dad is too. I've noticed that my son, Zeke, is a whistler. How that makes my heart sing! I don't know if you'd call Zeke calm and peaceful if you met him, but he's 11 so maybe not on the outside. He's pretty much all kid!!! But once you get to know him, you'd know that on the inside, yes, Zekie is calm and peaceful. He's kind and loving and boy does that kid have a sense of right and wrong; and he'll call you on it. I super love that about it. Standing up for what is right. It warms my heart to hear him whistling like his Pap and great-grandpap before him. If seems like such a joyful sound and perhaps to them, my Grandpap, Dad and son, it helps(helped) them to keep calm and carry on. Maybe without them even realizing it.

Ouch! My Brain Hurts (and my heart).

Recently, I had one of those days when you feel like nothing can go right. My emotions were right there on the brink of overflowing. There are several points throughout the day that I want to share what I was thinking and feeling.

At one point, I was in a meeting where there was discussion about some bullying a student had endured. I started tearing up when I was expressing my thought about the situation. Unfortunately, as I thought about it later, I was kind of embarrassed. I know I shouldn't be, but it is something that people see has weak. I was certainly not being weak. I am just a very passionate person. I feel things very deeply so crying comes pretty easy when I'm emotional. Any emotion - sad, mad, happy, frustrated, or whatever. To quote one of my favorite movies, "Laughter through tears is one of my favorite emotions." You get a gold star if you know who said that in what movie. So anyway, I was feeling a bit silly that people saw me get all emotional. I really wish we could get to a place that being emotional or passionate isn't seen as weak. It's very curious to me because it doesn't initially feel like I'm being weak. Then, I think about it and start to feel that way. It's a societal label. I don't like it. Just sayin', and I'll say it again; I do NOT like it. We should be able to show what we are feeling in our heart without feeling "less" for it. Now, this brings me to another point. What I really need to do, is not let myself feel that way. I do it to myself. I do. I know I do.

As I reflect back on that difficult day, as so many have been lately, I realize I have total control over my experience of those days. Easier said than done. Or is it? All I have to do is change my thought because you know, "Thoughts Become Things"!!! They do. I know that, and I believe that. If I think it, it becomes real to me in my mind. If I don't think it, it isn't there; i.e. the weakness feeling. I'm going to focus on taking back control and not handing over that power to others. I know that will help me "keep calm and carry on."

Can I Take This Back To The Farm?

I was fortunate to be in attendance at a leadership panel recently at which WV Secretary of State, Natalie Tennant, was a participant. She talked about how she developed her leadership style, some of her greatest challenges and who she looked up to as a role models. It was a great forum. I've always been proud of Secretary Tennant since I first came to know who she was when she became the first woman mountaineer. It had to be tough for her because I heard a lot of shit at tailgates and in the game about having a woman mountaineer. Really just stupid stuff like she should be home in the kitchen. What? Are we in the 50's??? What does that even mean or matter??? Did people yell at the previous male mountaineers that they should be at their jobs bringing home the bacon??? Some called her names that I won't even type in this blog. I always called people out if they did it in my presence. I never let people put her down. Since then, she has gone on to do well but you would expect that from someone who had the desire to be the first female mountaineer knowing what she would have to endure. I'm sure she knew what she was in for when she applied. I would call that fortitude and courage. I like it. I like my boys to see strong women taking on non-traditional roles. It will bode well for how they view the women in their lives today and in the future. If their life partners are women, it will just be good for everyone all the way around if they already have a high respect for women and view them as equals.

Anyway, I digress. What I really wanted to talk about was something very specific that Secretary Tennant said. One of the questions the panel was asked by an audience member had to do with what they would recommend to help someone be able to maintain their integrity in a world that oftentimes does not reward honestly and fairness. Secretary Tennant noted that her compass involved asking herself, "Can I take this back to the farm?" Meaning, can she go home and face her parents and the rest of her family with her decision. I loved that! I love that because it is one of the things I ask myself when I'm dealing with something that tests my values; What would my mom & dad think about this decision?, or What decision would make my parents proud? Since becoming a mom, I also added to my list of questions, "What decision would I want my sons to know I made?" These kinds of questions help to keep me grounded in the things that I know to be true but might be hard to remember when I found myself in a compromising situation with those who might not have the same moral or ethical compass as me. I'm sorry to say those situations are more common than I'd like so it is even more important than ever to stick to the truths you have laid out for yourself and trust they will help you to Keep Calm and Carry On.