Stop Glorifying Busy

I have found myself drawn to the phrase "Stop glorifying busy." This resonates with me. It makes sense to me. We are living in a society that is moving fast, and we are doing so much. When I think about this issue, my mind goes to two distinct places:

First, I feel like if we aren't saying how VERY busy we are, we feel like our work/lives mustn't be very important. WE mustn't be very important. Think about when someone asks you how you are doing? How often do you say, "Busy, we are just so busy." It's like we are justifying the importance of our existence by accentuating that we can't possible get everything that is important in our lives done without being crazy busy. CRAZY BUSY. I read an article that suggested we substitute the word full for busy. I've been doing that for a couple of years now. Life IS full!!! And I don't hate it, I LOVE it. This takes me to my next point about glorifying busy.

Second, having a busy life (from this point forward will be referred to as full life) does not mean it is bad. What I believe many people in our society have lost is the belief that they can enjoy life even when it is so full we feel like our heads are going to spin off our bodies. If this is how life is, we have to find a way that the full lives we are leading are not frantic lives. Frantic has some negative energy surrounding it and those around us can feel it; our colleagues, partners, children, and other family & friends. Frantic is defined as "wild or distraught with fear, anxiety, or other emotion". We sure don't want to be distraught. Whereas, hectic is defined as being "filled with  activity or excitement." I'd like to suggest we try the following things as steps towards making our full lives less distressed and more exciting:

1. Look at everything you're doing. Ask yourself if something is missing. Gym time. Vising family. Time with your partner or kids. Sleep. Mani/pedi time. Whatever it is, make it happen. I know it isn't easy, and quite frankly, I was/am terrible at this for myself. I'm better now than I have been, but my kids are also teenagers. I have more freedom.
2. Look at everything you're doing. Ask yourself if there is something you absolutely hate. If there is, ask yourself if it is something you can eliminate or at least cut back on. If you are lucky enough to have some disposable income, pay someone to do something that you hate doing or that takes up too much time around the house like yard work, cleaning the house, washing clothes, grocery shopping online for pickup. In my own life, there were things that I hated doing that my husband didn't mind at all, and visa-versa. We looked at those things and made adjustments as we could. Sometimes, there isn't anything you can adjust about a responsibility you really dislike. However, be honest with yourself about it which leads to my next point. 
3. Don't be a victim. Don't tell yourself, "There isn't anything I can do. That's just the way life is." Don't settle for that. Don't you dare settle for that. If you are feeling out-of-control, key word, FEELING. Your feelings are something you DO control. So........
4. Change your thinking. Busy/full do NOT have to be out-of-control or frantic. They don't. I promise you. It's just A LOT. If it's a lot of bad stuff, then you've got to re-evaluate. However, for most of us, it is just a full life. Remember, in life there is always going to be something going on; getting through college, starting a career, dealing with relationships through it all, growing a career, buying a house, having kids, having teenagers, saving for retirement / or not being able to save for retirement, kids in college, caring for elderly parents (if we're lucky), and then when all of that is over..............we get old, if we're lucky. None of it's bad, it just is, and it makes for a full life.

When I was looking at all these things in my own life, there really wasn't anything I wanted to get rid of. So......there it was. I wasn't a victim, I was voluntarily making my life "out-of-control" or at least that's the way I had been looking at it. However, it wasn't out-of-control. I was in total control of it. I didn't want to stop doing any of it. I realized I had to think about it differently. I had such a FULL life and it was amazing AND I had created it. Wow. I am fabulous!!!! AND SO ARE YOU.
   
Here is an article that has some other suggestions for helping us to stop the glorification of busy:
Let's Stop the Glorification of Busy. by Guy Kawasaki

This quote from Busy isn’t respectable anymore, is very important to remember when talking about "busy", "Being busy, in this context, is not synonymous with being hard working or productive or effective. Also, this article is calling into question busyness for busyness sake. Busyness by necessity, at least for a season, is an entirely different conversation." The author of that article, Tyler Ward, also has another piece that addresses this issue, Becoming Less Busy Isn't About Slowing Down.

This article is focused specifically on work life, but you can transfer the logic to the "busyness" of your personal life too.
Our lives ARE full, and how lucky are we!!! We have families, work, homes to keep up, children, pets, school activities, kids' homework, Dr. appts, sporting events, community activities like church and 4-H, elderly parents, volunteering, not to mention trying to do good things for ourselves like going to the gym or spa, how about enough sleep, right! We are living in a wealth of abundance and joy, and now we know how to Keep Calm and Carry On through it all.

Lucky you.

Grandpap and the Joy of Whistling

It is one of my favorite sounds; someone whistling. It brings such joy to my heart because it reminds me of my grandpap and now of my Daddy. My husband told me once that my Dad was the only person he knew that could harmonize with himself when he whistled. It seems impossible, but honestly, when you hear him whistle, it does sound like he is harmonizing. It's a beautiful sound. I'm sure he learned that from his Dad.

From as far back as I can remember, my Grandpap Rips whistled. We always heard him before we saw him. It was a good feeling to hear that whistle and jump up and run to greet him at the kitchen door.

He was a gentle man that had a silent strength about him. Whistling suited his personality perfectly. It feels kind and light hearted and calm and peaceful, like the kind of man he was and like my Dad is too. I've noticed that my son, Zeke, is a whistler. How that makes my heart sing! I don't know if you'd call Zeke calm and peaceful if you met him, but he's 11 so maybe not on the outside. He's pretty much all kid!!! But once you get to know him, you'd know that on the inside, yes, Zekie is calm and peaceful. He's kind and loving and boy does that kid have a sense of right and wrong; and he'll call you on it. I super love that about it. Standing up for what is right. It warms my heart to hear him whistling like his Pap and great-grandpap before him. If seems like such a joyful sound and perhaps to them, my Grandpap, Dad and son, it helps(helped) them to keep calm and carry on. Maybe without them even realizing it.

Ouch! My Brain Hurts (and my heart).

Recently, I had one of those days when you feel like nothing can go right. My emotions were right there on the brink of overflowing. There are several points throughout the day that I want to share what I was thinking and feeling.

At one point, I was in a meeting where there was discussion about some bullying a student had endured. I started tearing up when I was expressing my thought about the situation. Unfortunately, as I thought about it later, I was kind of embarrassed. I know I shouldn't be, but it is something that people see has weak. I was certainly not being weak. I am just a very passionate person. I feel things very deeply so crying comes pretty easy when I'm emotional. Any emotion - sad, mad, happy, frustrated, or whatever. To quote one of my favorite movies, "Laughter through tears is one of my favorite emotions." You get a gold star if you know who said that in what movie. So anyway, I was feeling a bit silly that people saw me get all emotional. I really wish we could get to a place that being emotional or passionate isn't seen as weak. It's very curious to me because it doesn't initially feel like I'm being weak. Then, I think about it and start to feel that way. It's a societal label. I don't like it. Just sayin', and I'll say it again; I do NOT like it. We should be able to show what we are feeling in our heart without feeling "less" for it. Now, this brings me to another point. What I really need to do, is not let myself feel that way. I do it to myself. I do. I know I do.

As I reflect back on that difficult day, as so many have been lately, I realize I have total control over my experience of those days. Easier said than done. Or is it? All I have to do is change my thought because you know, "Thoughts Become Things"!!! They do. I know that, and I believe that. If I think it, it becomes real to me in my mind. If I don't think it, it isn't there; i.e. the weakness feeling. I'm going to focus on taking back control and not handing over that power to others. I know that will help me "keep calm and carry on."