Choices .......

Everything in our lives is a result of the

decisions and choices we make.

Understanding this is one of the most powerful 

realizations we can make towards

creating our own experiences.

 

Having a Tough Day? Try this.

If you're having a tough day, here's a suggestion, google "Fred Rogers quotes" then click on images. Now that will lift your spirits. What a man. Seriously, what a man. We should all listen to the wise, loving guidance of this amazing man.

 

The Courage of a Kind, Soft Heart

It can sure be a tough, cruel world out there. We have to try to remember that being a good, kind person is its own reward. But, ugh. That can be very difficult sometimes. When others around you are often not kind nor good but seem to be prospering, it isn't easy to stay the course; or at least feel good about it. If you're like me, there really isn't an option of switching over to the dark side. I just can't do it. It feels awful to me. It feels ugly and wrong. I can't be mean. I don't like it. However, being the kind, soft-hearted person doesn't always feel good either at times. It kind of feels like I'm getting pushed around and taken advantage of and, quite frankly, not appreciated nor respected. That does NOT feel good. 

Those are the times that we have to be sure we have surrounded ourselves with likeminded people; with people who can help us stay on our path to be true to our authentic self. It doesn't have to be a lot of people. Your inner circle can be 1 to 100, but whether it's 1 or 100, make sure they are the people who will support you to be who YOU want to be. These people are Your Tribe (more about that in a blog soon to come). Make sure they are the people who will give you what you need to get over this hump, get away from the negative people, get out of the toxic environment you're in or whatever the issue is and help you remember the blessing your good and kind heart is for yourself and those with whom you come in contact. 

Let's take care of each other out there. Remember, we are all in this together. 

Stop Glorifying Busy

I have found myself drawn to the phrase "Stop glorifying busy." This resonates with me. It makes sense to me. We are living in a society that is moving fast, and we are doing so much. When I think about this issue, my mind goes to two distinct places:

First, I feel like if we aren't saying how VERY busy we are, we feel like our work/lives mustn't be very important. WE mustn't be very important. Think about when someone asks you how you are doing? How often do you say, "Busy, we are just so busy." It's like we are justifying the importance of our existence by accentuating that we can't possible get everything that is important in our lives done without being crazy busy. CRAZY BUSY. I read an article that suggested we substitute the word full for busy. I've been doing that for a couple of years now. Life IS full!!! And I don't hate it, I LOVE it. This takes me to my next point about glorifying busy.

Second, having a busy life (from this point forward will be referred to as full life) does not mean it is bad. What I believe many people in our society have lost is the belief that they can enjoy life even when it is so full we feel like our heads are going to spin off our bodies. If this is how life is, we have to find a way that the full lives we are leading are not frantic lives. Frantic has some negative energy surrounding it and those around us can feel it; our colleagues, partners, children, and other family & friends. Frantic is defined as "wild or distraught with fear, anxiety, or other emotion". We sure don't want to be distraught. Whereas, hectic is defined as being "filled with  activity or excitement." I'd like to suggest we try the following things as steps towards making our full lives less distressed and more exciting:

1. Look at everything you're doing. Ask yourself if something is missing. Gym time. Vising family. Time with your partner or kids. Sleep. Mani/pedi time. Whatever it is, make it happen. I know it isn't easy, and quite frankly, I was/am terrible at this for myself. I'm better now than I have been, but my kids are also teenagers. I have more freedom.
2. Look at everything you're doing. Ask yourself if there is something you absolutely hate. If there is, ask yourself if it is something you can eliminate or at least cut back on. If you are lucky enough to have some disposable income, pay someone to do something that you hate doing or that takes up too much time around the house like yard work, cleaning the house, washing clothes, grocery shopping online for pickup. In my own life, there were things that I hated doing that my husband didn't mind at all, and visa-versa. We looked at those things and made adjustments as we could. Sometimes, there isn't anything you can adjust about a responsibility you really dislike. However, be honest with yourself about it which leads to my next point. 
3. Don't be a victim. Don't tell yourself, "There isn't anything I can do. That's just the way life is." Don't settle for that. Don't you dare settle for that. If you are feeling out-of-control, key word, FEELING. Your feelings are something you DO control. So........
4. Change your thinking. Busy/full do NOT have to be out-of-control or frantic. They don't. I promise you. It's just A LOT. If it's a lot of bad stuff, then you've got to re-evaluate. However, for most of us, it is just a full life. Remember, in life there is always going to be something going on; getting through college, starting a career, dealing with relationships through it all, growing a career, buying a house, having kids, having teenagers, saving for retirement / or not being able to save for retirement, kids in college, caring for elderly parents (if we're lucky), and then when all of that is over..............we get old, if we're lucky. None of it's bad, it just is, and it makes for a full life.

When I was looking at all these things in my own life, there really wasn't anything I wanted to get rid of. So......there it was. I wasn't a victim, I was voluntarily making my life "out-of-control" or at least that's the way I had been looking at it. However, it wasn't out-of-control. I was in total control of it. I didn't want to stop doing any of it. I realized I had to think about it differently. I had such a FULL life and it was amazing AND I had created it. Wow. I am fabulous!!!! AND SO ARE YOU.
   
Here is an article that has some other suggestions for helping us to stop the glorification of busy:
Let's Stop the Glorification of Busy. by Guy Kawasaki

This quote from Busy isn’t respectable anymore, is very important to remember when talking about "busy", "Being busy, in this context, is not synonymous with being hard working or productive or effective. Also, this article is calling into question busyness for busyness sake. Busyness by necessity, at least for a season, is an entirely different conversation." The author of that article, Tyler Ward, also has another piece that addresses this issue, Becoming Less Busy Isn't About Slowing Down.

This article is focused specifically on work life, but you can transfer the logic to the "busyness" of your personal life too.
Our lives ARE full, and how lucky are we!!! We have families, work, homes to keep up, children, pets, school activities, kids' homework, Dr. appts, sporting events, community activities like church and 4-H, elderly parents, volunteering, not to mention trying to do good things for ourselves like going to the gym or spa, how about enough sleep, right! We are living in a wealth of abundance and joy, and now we know how to Keep Calm and Carry On through it all.

Lucky you.